Acting Purple in a Red and Blue Political Culture

These are my notes from Michael Brundeen’s session, “Being Purple in a Red or Blue World” at the 2011 MoRanch Men’s Conference near Hunt, Texas.
http://www.moranch.com

We live in a culture that quickly labels people

We in the United States are also very political

Politics is about power and money, and who gets what

Increasingly in our country, our messiah is the government
– the government becomes an idol of our own doing in this sense

As Christians we understand governments are necessary because we are sinful people and need to be governed
– our first allegiance, however, is to Jesus Christ
– if Jesus is Lord, no one else is (including Uncle Sam)

I have a problem with our schools telling our kids (as students) from day one that the government will take care of them

Caesar is government

Religion, politics and sex have over time become topics that civil society wanted to avoid


Romans 13
http://bible.us/Rom13.1.NLT

we are obligated to be more than spectators
– at a minimum that means we should all obey the laws, be informed voters and pay taxes
– if we are not informed we throw things to the wind, and when we do that evil wins

Your good works may involve running for office

You need to understand that power corrupts
– you need to strengthen yourself to withstand that influence

Jesus Christ gets your principal and primary allegiance, if

I am concerned that the government wants my faith to be kept away, and when we speak as Christians we are threatened with taxation

When I ask you to describe yourself, how quickly does the word Christian come off your lips
– many people are far more likely to say conservative, Texan, American, liberal, etc before Christian

Rather than working on problems in a community sense, we more often work on issues from a coercive, power standpoint (like seatbelt laws)

Comment from participant about Barry Goldwater’s friendship and respect for Hubert Humphrey
– the lack of that

We are less likely today to NOT act when we have a contentious issue
– more often we look for a 51%

1 Peter 2:9

“But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light.”

Washington DC today is it’s own kind of Babylon
– there are two kinds of Babylon today: DC and Las Vegas

We need to be careful about the way our political ideas can become our personal identities

Privatized faith can be irresponsible

Politicized faith is definitionally unfaithful
– we should be Christians first

Allowing something else to come under the gospel and replace it is irresponsible

We must learn to be effective and consistent in our Christian witness to society without taking on the methods of contemporary politics
– contemporary politics involves demonizing your opponent

Love of neighbor obligates you to respect the opinions of others
– you don’t have to accept and agree with those opinions, but you do have to respect those opinions and those people

We should NOT be primarily goal focused on autonomy, pragmatism and convenience
– what works is what’s right

We have to be careful in our social witness falling into traps

Smallest indivisible unit for the Christian is two, not one

Autonomy has to have limits
– Paul called us to sacrificial love

How to innoculate ourselves?

Who are you listening to?

The way to have eyes to see is to spend time with the Lord
– our media will shape us

The system tends to grow in a way that perpetuates itself, so when people get into that situation they can lose sight of who they are, where they came from, and who they represent as elected officials

– Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Surviving the Storms of Life Together

These are my notes from Tim and Ruthie Hast’s presentation, “Surviving the Storms of Life Together” at the Family Matters class on November 3, 2010 at First Presbyterian Church in Edmond, Oklahoma. MY THOUGHTS AND REFLECTIONS ARE IN ALL CAPS.

Storms happen
– don’t be surprised
– bad stuff can be what grows us

Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Types of storms
– self / other inflicted (cloud seeding)
– unavoidable (normal weather patterns)

Be prepared
– understand that you can’t anticipate everything, but don’t rule out anything
– “That could never happen to us”

we were counselors working with FEMA after the 1999 tornados in Oklahoma

Number of couples that don’t make it through the death of a child (staying together) is very high, something like 80%

We need to be prepared, assume something difficult is going to happen at some time
– now is the time to prepare
– like getting your tornado storm kit ready

Isolation in a tragedy can be even more devastating
– your community can become your storm shelter

Start now working on strengthening relationships
– with God
– with your mate
– support network

Talk about the What Ifs, like a fire escape plan

Whatever you want in life, if you have a dear cut picture of it, your mind will be moving toward it

One way weather the storms of life together is by having a clear vision of who you are as a couple
– who do we want to be
– if you get that together, that is like life insurance

Epitaph exercise is something I use with clients when they are involved with something they shouldn’t or don’t want to be
– live for your epitaph
– start with the end in mind

How do you want to be in a crisis?
– how do we want to look to others?
– people will be watching

Need to pray together when you are not under stress, because that establishes the habit and pattern of facing life’s challenges together rather than apart

Accept your own limitations (know thyself)
– recovery will take time
– it will take more than you have
– stay humble
– have a teachable spirit – it requires an open mind
— many times we “think we know,” but there are SO many things we don’t know….

There is an element of shame with some of these things that attack us
– there needs to be humility between spouses too

Have you notice how your faith is really strengthened and grown in those tough times?

In the anger stage of grief, we blame
– that requires forgiveness, of each other, of people who perpetrate a crime
– if infidelity is involved, forgiving each other, forgiving ourselves

When we forgive, we become like God, we resemble Him, he has forgiven us

Biblical examples:
– Joseph forgiving his brothers
– The Prodigal Son
– The Woman at the Well

Sometimes we oversimplify forgiveness
– we need to understand the true extend of the damage and pain that was caused
– you can’t fully forgive what you incompletely understand

Forgiving is letting go of all perceived rights to punish or avenge
– punishment and judgement are God’s domain (He can do a much better job of this than we can)

Praying for blessing for the person who caused the harm is very difficult, but it is part of forgiveness

When we do these things, the the hurt and the evil truly no longer has a claim on our lives

It takes something bigger than me to forgive such an egregious act

Letting go of the measuring stick can be a real big struggle for us

Story of couple on Oprah last week on couple who lost all three of their kids
– they immediately went into counseling
– made a pact with each other not to commit suicide, they knew the grief that was coming was terrible

When IT strikes, we must mobilize
– get the information and help you need
– learn
– ask for help
– investigate
– consult
– join

Call your church family first
– that is what we are here for, for each other

Be clear about expectations of each other and self, agree on these

Make an immediate plan and move forward
– what do we need to consider
– who is in charge
– who is responsible for what?
– who needs to be involved (or not?)
– do we need a time frame?
– what kinds of financial arrangements may need to be made?

Manage stress and take care of yourself and each other
Surround yourself with trusted listeners
You each need a confidante
Couples therapy can help

When you talk with others, start with your most vulnerable emotions first (I am frightened

Don’t wait till the thunderstorm is over to learn to dance in the rain

Trauma research shows the number one tool in recovery is talking about the event in the presence of a compassionate witness

The way you handle tragedy as a couple will either break your marriage party or deepen your relationship together
– talk with each other
– do not isolate yourselves from each other

Practice good communication
– that is the number one thing that will keep your relationship strong and tight

There is grief in every life change: we are leaving something

Grief is the process of moving from what was to what is
– moving from fantasy to reality

Five steps of grief
1 denial
2 anger
3 depression
4 bargaining
5 acceptance

Stages
– moving from denial to acceptance
– you are accepting what is, or truth
– denial is the lie

Moving from the lie to the truth
– that is just like our walk with Christ

We all experience the grief process differently
– we must give our mate space to grieve on their own schedule

Never forgive the objective, to get through the storm as a unit, intact, and even stronger than before….
– washed by the rain, and still standing

We want to stay married, but stay married better

People who had blueprints for their house are able to rebuild faster after a tornado

This is like the vision and identity that we have for our marriage and lives together

– Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Your Project, Your Purpose

When I was a young college student (17 years old), I found myself spending lots of time alone in my dorm room. Realizing that I could only read so much, listen to so many cassette tapes, re-arrange the closet, I decided to venture out. I quickly ran into representatives from various churches, most notably, the Baptist Student Union.

It was a life-changing meeting for me, or at least, I hope it was. The BSU naturally offered me a place to be around other young college students. I came to look forward to their evening, once a week video series with enthusiasm. It was my first exposure to Christian speakers–aside from Mass and church. One of them was a man by the name of Tony Campolo. I truly enjoyed all his presentations, and after one of them, recognizing the futility of a life without divine purpose, I accepted Christ as my personal saviour.

I was reminded of this when I read this post at Ben Witherington’s blog sharing a sermon written by Craig Hill.

Whether or not we know God, the question that dominates our lives remains the same. At issue is where we look for the answer. The easiest thing to do, the thing that probably most of us do most of the time, is to follow the world’s lead, to buy (often literally) into a system of values that says, if only you could own this, or look like this, or do this, then you’d be happy, then your life would have meaning. But it is not real bread, it is not the stuff that satisfies. We are made for God, and only in God will we discover the meaning for which we long, and which is our birthright as God’s children.

At issue is WHERE we look. Wow, what a powerful idea. Imagine if I had stepped out with a fraternity rather than the BSU, where might my life had gone? Although I’d like to think I was smarter than a life of partying and drinking–my apologies to the sober and responsible fraternities–due to my social outcast experiences as a middle schooler, I am grateful that I felt comfortable enough to start looking at church.

This sermon reminded me of one I’d heard when I was 17 and in my freshman year of college. That story was told by Tony Campolo, a person whose words I greatly admired, but had never listened to again. So, since everyone is on the Web, I searched on Tony Campolo and discovered many of his sermons as audio files to download (subscribe to podcast feed as well). I encourage, urge you to go listen to him if you’ve never heard him before. The video of Tony Campolo speaking passionately, mopping his bald head humorously, is one that I can never forget.

The story is one I’ve heard again with different interpretations. However, perhaps because I heard it first, Tony Campolo’s version is the one I remember. It is about how, out of millions of sperm, I was the one. I was the one who had made it. I had run the race and won. While there might be more to it, that’s what I remember. This story touched me powerfully because it called attention to how special I was at a time when I didn’t feel very special at all. I had been picked on in middle school, and although I’d managed to forge new relationships in high school, I was still feeling very much alone and lonely. I knew I was vulnerable, that I had a choice to make. It was a reasoned choice, as strange as that sounds. That story, told by Tony Campolo, just affirmed me as a special person. The fact I needed that affirmation, and where that affirmation had to come from, made me aware.
Looking back to that night, when I sat with the BSU Pastor in his office, and accepted Christ as my personal saviour, I remember the feeling of being unable through sheer force of will to be a good person, to continue on. Like Michael Card in one of his songs, i decided to live like a believer, to accept I’m not up to the challenge by myself.

As I begin my first Christmas without my father, I am grateful of another time in my life when Dad wasn’t handy to provide the anchor in my life…my freshman year in college, when I was away. It was a time when I was filled with doubt, uncertainty, and I found fellowship a strange and wondrous experience. Through it all, I am grateful…yes, grateful that I accepted Christ that night so long ago, grateful that even though the world was a strange place, my first venture in it had people like the BSU folks to offer a smile and an encouraging word…and that they played Tony Campolo videos.

Now, over 20 years later, I can only feel gratitude that my Project was so well-defined early on, establish a foundation upon which I could move forward. That gratitude feels very much like peace.

I encourage you to read the Craig Hill’s sermon, as well as listen to Campolo.

A New Role

I am not a professional blogger, but I am married to one! This is my first, forced if truth be known, blog entry. My husband, three kids, and two dogs and I have recently moved to a great new city. My husband has a great job, and I just found out that I will have a new job begining next Tuesday. After staying home for the past eight years, I am going back to a full time job. The best thing is that it will allow me to continue my “real” full time job as a wife and mother. I’ve been very happy as a stay-home mom. I’ve actually enjoyed keeping my house clean, participating in play groups, and being an active member of the PTA.

I never would have imagined that I could work full time and still be able to pick my kids up after school and put them to bed each night. I think its great that businesses are allowing Moms to work flexible hours, get the job done, and still be there for their families. I am looking forward to getting out, meeting new people, and making a difference in the lives of others.

Indeed you are powerful

I am thrilled to have found a wonderful Friday morning men’s fellowship group at our new church here in Edmond, Oklahoma, very similar to a Friday morning men’s group I participated in back in Lubbock for the past few years. Ever since I went to my first Promisekeepers event, which was probably back in 1998 or so, seeking the fellowship, accountability, laughter and levity of another group of Christian guys has become a very important part of my life.

Our Edmond men’s group is about 50 or 60 men strong each week, and one of the best things about it is that we have men who are all different ages. There are probably more retired guys than younger ones, but I think the age range is very good– it runs from 30s (I don’t think we have any in their 20s in there currently) up to 70s and maybe even 80s. Older guys have so much more “lived experiences” and wisdom than us young whippersnappers, that it is a great opportunity usually to just hang out and listen. I want to have the “margin” and perspective on life that these older guys do NOW, and not wait another forty years to get it. That is a real struggle, but hanging out with these fellows, listening to them and learning from them seems like a good recipie for learning their secrets. Maybe some of that patient, gentle spirit will rub off on me! I am not sure if it is working, but I think there’s a good chance it might be doing some good.

We have started a new book study on John Eldredge’s book, “Wild At Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul.” I read this book at least three years ago, it was published in in 2001– and I am so glad to have this encouragement to read the book again, reflect on it, and share about it with other guys. I am also very glad to have this blog as a place to record my thoughts and offer them up for feedback and response. I will try and “chunk” my ideas a bit better for this blog than I sometimes do for my primary blog– because I think people are more likely to read shorter posts and part of my purpose is to encourage dialog and responses.

The first excerpt I want to respond to from the book comes from page 10, in chapter 1. Eldredge writes:

Capes and swords, camouflage, bandannas and six-shooters– these are the uniforms of boyhood. Little boys yearn to know they are powerful, they are dangerous, they are someone to be reckoned with.

This reminds me of one of my favorite lines from the movie series “Star Wars.” This is from Episode VI, “Return of the Jedi,” and Darth Vader is speaking to Luke on the planet Endor before he takes him up to his star ship to meet the Emperor. Vader says:

Indeed you are powerful, as the Emperor has foreseen.

I love that statement and observation. Yes, Luke has grown powerful in his own right under the guidance of his mentors, Obi-Wan and Yoda. And now, his own father is recognizing him. All children yearn to be acknowledged and recognized by their parents, I think, for the men and women they have and are continuing to grow up to be.

I got in the habit many years ago of having my own children repeat certain phrases that I would tell them. I know that “self-talk” is very important in terms of shaping identity, and there are so many terrible messages in our popular culture today that reinforce the WRONG messages to both young people and adults alike. For my daughters, I often have them repeat the following after me:

I AM powerful.
I AM strong.
I AM beautiful.
I AM smart.
I AM a good thinker.
I AM good.
I AM nice.
I AM sweet.

I want my own children to speak this reality into their own lives: They ARE powerful because God has created them in his own image to be his children, and to do his work. He has equipped them each with talents and gifts that they are called to discover and to use, and part of my role as their father is to help them discover their identity and learn at the end of the day– or rather on the path of their own journey of faith, that they each ARE powerful…. Powerful beyond words, or as Miguel has written before, “powerful beyond measure.”

I think it is very important as parents, teachers and just adults in our society that we help empower young people to believe in themselves and in the calling which they each have in this world to do important work. I have no idea what my children will do in the future, but I do know that I want them to move forward into that future with confidence and sureity about WHOSE they are, and how wonderfully he has crafted them to be his agents on this often dark planet.

1 2 3