Session 2: Love is an Orientation

These are my notes from session 2 of our Wednesday night study at church based on Andrew Marin‘s book, “Love Is an Orientation: Elevating the Conversation with the Gay Community” on January 16, 2013.

Andrew sees himself as “a regular guy trying to love and love in real time”

Billy Graham’s response when challenged about why he was associating with Billy Graham: “the Holy Spirit’s job is to convict, God’s job is to judge, my job is to love”

affirmation: the dignifying and
– very different from the cultural definition of affirming

Marin Foundation seeks to VALIDATE everyone
– validation is our goal: we must validate and dignify and legitimize everybody’s story…

People seem to be bent on “invalidating” the stories of others
– agreement and disagreement must be secondary issues to what is being presenting

What does reconciliation look like?
2 types in our culture
1- cultural version: similar to affirmation (when you drop what you believe and come over to my side, so we agree on everything political and social)
2- Biblical version: Jesus reconciled as the hinge: humans to God, and humans to humans
– we should be seeking reconciliation to people most different from us
– story of the Roman centurion shows this

The definition of reconciliation for Andrew is “fidelity and the intentional pursuit of others”
– what is an ‘enemy’ (one that is antagonistic to another)

It’s easy to say “love your enemies”
– that preaches well on Sunday, but it’s VERY hard to do today

Proverbs 16:7

When the Lord takes pleasure in anyone’s way, he causes their enemies to make peace with them.

1 Timothy 4:15

Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress.

Progress is relative to what you’re comparing to

Progress is a pioneer advancing into new territory

-Warren Wiersbe

God brings order to chaos
– it’s our job to be those pioneers, to have love as an orientation, so people remember us because of our LOVE

Key we need: To start releasing self-imposed burdens so we can be free to love, to learn, to build bridges

Other notes:

Practicing gays and lesbians can’t separate their sexual behavior from their identity

Later we will hear from some a physician who has worked with LGBT AIDS patients
– don’t lie to me, and don’t leave me

Heidelberg Catechism question 52: The one who will sit on judgement for me is the one who went to the cross to justify me for my sins
– there is no sin beyond the G

Recommended reading from Curt: Go to and read:
Justin: What I Believe
Ron: Love that Does Not Count the Cost

These are the discussion questions we addressed at different tables, when we divided up / moved around the room:

Questions for Discussion: Love is an Orientation

homosexual is ok to use as an ADJECTIVE but not as a noun
– it’s best to use LGBT or GLBT as a noun

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